Last night I went to Taco Bravo for the third time in my life.
No other restaurant I know of is guaranteed to make for an entertaining visit the way Taco Bravo is.
The first time I went there I merely watched as the San Jose locals ordered these massive plates full of food, the volume of which no human should be able to eat.
One person had several tacos and a burrito. He unwrapped the burrito, placed the tacos into the folds, then wrapped the burrito up again to create a monstrosity that makes me thing of what a Like Like from Zelda would look like in person. The monstrous burrito was then eaten in this manner: pour hot sauce on it, take a bite, dip into cheese, take a bite, pour hot sauce, take a bite, and so on.
Another person eventually just kind of ended up with a pile of meat in one of those bits of wrapper tacos always seem to come in. The wrapper was translucent at this point, and the person proceeded to turn that wrapper into a tube and suck the meat out of it. Later, this person went outside and screamed (likely due to the feeling of Taco Bravo "settling" in his stomach), then returned inside and huddled into a fetal position for a while.
My second trip to Taco Bravo was less about the food and more about the strange people that tend to show up at a taco shop at 1 in the morning. They seemed to be mostly drunks, having recently left a wedding or something. They were loud and obnoxious, which made the discovery of the creepy van nearby even better.
You see, there was a van in the parking lot with an old man sleeping in the driver's seat and something pulsing in the passenger seat. The people I was with and the random drunks gawked, inspected, and concocted theories about what the "thing" was for some time before it finally revealed itself to have been an old woman who had apparently been sleeping in a very awkward position.
Last night at Taco Bravo we ended up with a full crew, with several people eating there for the first time. Half of what they call a Super Nachos ended up of the floor, though that didn't stop a few people from taking bits and eating it anyway. Our group seemed like it should have absolutely overwhelmed the single old man who was running the place, yet the guy took it like a champ, handling each order as it came.
I've never actually eaten anything at Taco Bravo, but if you're ever in San Jose at 1 in the morning with some friends who don't mind eating terrible food, you could certainly do worse than Taco Bravo. At the very least, it'll be an experience.
I know I'm going to end up eating there one day and I'm a little terrified of what my experience will be like.
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