Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Listless

I'd like to write about how pundits are declaring the Sanders campaign dead prematurely, about the Trump phenomenon, or about my vision for my own presidential campaign. I'd like to write about the shows I've been watching recently, the games I've been playing, or the games I'd like to make. I'd like to write about my feelings on the American educational system, how it's failing our country, and some preliminary ideas on how to improve it. I'd like to talk some more about responsibility, about stoicism, and about honesty. I'd like to talk about how I believe people are basically good, most of them muddling through life doing what they think is right, and how though many of us disagree we mostly want the same thing.

I want to talk about all of these things, but I'm just not feeling it right now, sorry.

Perhaps it's because I'm still recovering from a whirlwind trip. MAGfest took a lot out of me, and traveling by plane is especially exhausting to me for various reasons I've already discussed. (Gonna note Paul's suggestion of taking ear plugs for the future. Noise-cancelling headphones also worked pretty well, I recall.)

Perhaps it's also the responsibilities of my job that are weighing on me, distracting me from deeper thought. In the weeks leading up to MAGfest I neglected some email conversations to focus on the convention, and now those conversations have piled up and became more urgent. There's a lot to do, and not enough time to do it all. PAX East is coming up, and PAX times are always stressful. If it was just 3-4 days of convention frenzy it would be one thing, but they've become two-month-long behemoths that together eat up 1/3 of our year, which seems crazy since they're just not that profitable for us anymore.

Alternately, perhaps my listlessness is caused by the pressures of my education, as I haven't had much time lately to dedicate to my studies. I haven't opened Visual Studio or Unity in over a week, and it feels like I'm falling behind. These classes are important to me, and other things in my life are pulling me away. It makes me long for the days when I had the hours to spare, and it frustrates me to think of how I squandered my time while I had it.

Perhaps it's because I'm distracted by my upcoming Major Life Event. I get married in less than a week, and then I'll have family visiting for the entire week afterward, leading up to our big BBQ Reception. And then Laura and I leave for our honeymoon. I hope the trip is relaxing, but I wonder if I'll spend the entire time extremely aware that everything else--my work, my classes--will be piling up while I'm gone.

There's a lot distracting me from my blog, in other words. It's time for me to line all of these concerns up and start taking care of them, one by one.

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