Friday, March 21, 2014


How long have I been involved in the Fangamer Podcast now? It feels like it's been ages.

The Fangamer Podcast have changed dramatically over the years, and I've been involved in every iteration in some way. Rather than talking about my history with podcasting, though, I'd prefer to talk about what I hope to accomplish with it.

I see podcasting as the best way for me to feel like part of our community. That sounds selfish, and it is.

To be completely honest, I like to say things and put stuff out there because I like to see people react to what I've done. I like to have that sort of control over the conversation, which is one of the reasons I stopped participating in the podcast's group discussions early on and instead began submitting monologues and music recommendations.

You see, I'm incredibly reserved in person. In most group conversations, I find myself simply sitting back and listening, rarely actually contributing. I have a habit of considering what I say carefully, especially around people I don't know. (I talk more freely around people I'm comfortable with, and I know I often come off like an ass most of the time.)

With a podcast, I have more control over the conversation, and I can prepare ahead of time.

That's also one of the reasons I blog, by the way. I'm always surprised to find out someone's actually reading these things, but deep down I'm nodding to myself smugly, satisfied to know that people are reading my inane ramblings.

I don't know if that's really community, but I've always operated under the "If you build it, they will come" model of building friendships. Rather than seeking out friends, I just kind of do things I find interesting and wait for them to come to me. I'm incredibly surprised at how well that's worked so far.

Anyway, podcasting.

For a while I was occupied with the idea of making the podcast meaningful and... educational sounds like the wrong word. Or perhaps it's the right word, but with an unfortunate connotation? I wanted to hear people's stories and share them with my audience, to find a place where we all connect.

However, I like Dan's approach to the newest iteration of the podcast. It's closer to the Kevin and Gerrit eras of the podcast than what I was doing--it's another round-table discussion podcast, for the most part. But I actually feel comfortable enough with these people to actually contribute to these conversations. And that, I believe, makes it feel more like a community activity than what I was doing on my own.

And that was my goal all along: to put something out there so that other people can feel like a part of our community. I hope that's how it comes across, but who knows.

1 comment:

  1. I completely understand how you feel. Most of time I start a drawing because it's something I want to do but everytime I'm done, even though I don't expect people to say anything I love when they do. Dispite being introverted as well I crave attention in that way. I want to create things both for the fun of it and because I like the spotlight for the things I do. I often debate with myself if that's really a good reason to want to get into this stuff. Especially recently since I've been trying to think of a way to break into some kind of content producing community again.